Headlines and Lies
by Broken-Devil
Summary: Spashley. 5 years since they broke up. 1 night in with the girls. Will everything be made right?
1. One Last Breath

**Okay, so this is my first South of Nowhere fic. It's been written for my friend Anna who's account this is on, because I can't log into mine, and we sort of did it together. When I say that I mean I wrote it and she read it through and added a sentence or two. Lol. Love her though. By the way I write under the author name: Queen-Of-Sins. Just so you know.**

**I own nothing. Except Sean and any other characters that are not in the show. **

**Chapter 1: One Last Breath.**

It's my anniversary. Just thought you should know that.

Well, it's not a proper anniversary, nothing to be joyous over but sometimes it brings a smile to my face. Not always, sometimes I cry but nobody knows that and if anybody found out I'd find a way to make them forget. Unless, of course, it's Kyla. She's seen me cry far too many times in the past, whether it is over our father or if it's my anniversary. She would never tell anyone though, I know she wouldn't and I trust my own instincts. She might be a little pain in the ass but she's my sister, well half-sister but adding that extra word wastes oxygen, so I have to love her; it's written in that contract when you're born. You have to love your family. I only love her, mind, and maybe my dad but he left us when we were young and then went and died.

I can see Kyla now, looking over at me lost in her own little world while she munches on some gross cereal at this disgusting hour. Seriously, who enjoys waking up at seven o'clock? We're only awake because I couldn't sleep and I made sure I made enough noise to wake her up when I became bored. She was awake anyway though, she knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep, the little know-it-all.

You see, like I said, today is my anniversary. Five years today to be precise.

Five years since I broke up with Spencer and walked away from everything.

Well, actually, she broke up with me and I couldn't handle it. But that's not the story I tell people, I make sure I'm the one that did the dumping and I'm the one that dosen't care. I have a reputation to protect and I can't have some cute blonde girl from Ohio ruining that. With her fancy PhD and her family sized car for her 2.1 children and handsome husband.

Not that she's married. And she's never had kids. I just say that so it seems that I was used and abused by some confused 17 year old who wanted to experiment with her sexuality, that way, you see, I'm the victim. From what I've heard though, from Kyla who stayed friends with her, she did get some degree in Psychology and is now working at some fancy place where she probably earns millions. I roll my eyes and Kyla catches me. I swear that woman is some superhuman robot who can read emotions and stuff.

"You're thinking about her again. Stop it." I frown at her. I know I shouldn't be thinking about; I can never help it though. She lives quite close to us here in LA but I don't even see her anymore. I have my friends and she has hers. Well, that's a lie, I saw her a few weeks ago when I walked in on her and Kyla and some other hot woman having a 'girls night in'. I never understood the fascination of touching your friend's feet and making them pretty while gushing over Justin Timberlake and his new album. This was more of a grown up slumber party though, with expensive alcohol and Runaway Bride on DVD. She was sat on my couch, giggling over something and holding a large glass of, what seemed to be, wine. We kind of have this little staring thing and I swear I turned her on; no-one can resist me, before I turned my back and walked out. I had other places to stay and people to do; I wasn't going to stick around there any longer than necessary. Kyla had phoned me later and I could still hear her voice in the background. I got called harsh for not saying hello but I quickly rolled my eyes and hung up, I made sure my attention was on the red-head to my right. She was cute but talked about Seinfeld way too much, it didn't last.

"Are you having any more slumber parties?" The question may have seemed random to Kyla, who looked at me strangely, but I was thinking about that night before I asked so it was perfectly reasonable.

"Maybe. Why?" She grinned at me and I didn't have the heart, or the stomach, to tell her she had cereal bits on her perfectly whitened teeth. "Want to join us next time?" I shook my head hard and figured quickly I shouldn't have done that. Makes me dizzy.

"I was just wondering." I fiddled with the cushions on the couch and pressed my finger into it, making a small dent and smiling to myself. "You're a little to old to have them anyway." Not that I would mind a room-full of girls in their pajamas and full of wine.

"It's fun. You know that thing that you seem to lack in your life." She stood up from her weird position (she's been doing yoga) and took her bowl to the basin to wash it. I tried to do yoga before but I didn't like it, I'd rather stick to my own work out. I like to call it 'fuck and run'. You see you burn a lot of calories in the fucking part and you burn a hell of a lot more when you're running down the street to get away from having to give her your number. I like it. I figure Kyla only ever does yoga to stay flexible for Aiden, which grosses me out, but she could do worse than him. She could also do a lot better but I generally get things thrown at me, like pillows, when I say that.

"I have fun." Yes, my reaction was a little delayed but it's damn early.

"Yeah. Drinking yourself stupid at some club so you can't even say your own name is so much fun. Maybe at 18, Ash, but you're 23 now and you can't keep doing it." She was right but I couldn't let her know that. I had a job and I paid rent, I didn't see any problem. Plus the name Ashley is very hard to say after a few vodkas, try it yourself you'll see my point. "You should try and be a little more responsible." God, she sounds like my friends! I get enough of them at work and when we go out, I didn't need it when they weren't around. I love my friends, don't get me wrong, but I hate it when they preach to me about right and wrong. I know the damn difference I just choose to ignore it. Madison was the worst out of the lot of them, yes I'm friends with Madison, we will never be the best of buddies but she's good to drink with and she isn't that much of a bitch when you get to know her.

"Whatever." I have such good comebacks. 1 Point to the oldest Davies sister. That's me.

"Are you going out today?" What kind of a question is that? It's Saturday. Of course I am, I've been working all week at the studio and I deserve some relaxation time. You see, I'm a music producer, rather than a maker. I have my own record label with Kyla, thanks to my daddies, money and we have a few signed bands on the up which makes us enough money to stay comfortable. It also gets me laid many times a week and keeps my ego happy.

"Probably. Not now though, I'll phone Madison or Sean and see if they want to go out tonight." Which they will, Madison is up for anything and Sean is after anything that moves. "Why?"

"Because I am having a girl's night in and Spencer is coming. I figured you probably wouldn't want to be here." Her voice was soft now, like she didn't want to approach the issue in case she made me mad or upset. Which I wasn't, my stomach always drops like that when I hear her name, honest.

"Oh." Suddenly I felt that familiar heavy feeling on my heart. I didn't understand it and I didn't like it. "Well I'll be out of your freshly cut hair by 8." I went to stand up but my knees were shaky. This was about the time I really hated Spencer and our past.

"Ashley." Damn it, she sounded sorry, she didn't need to be sorry. It was my fault I was still hung up on the blonde. Kyla knew all along though I still needed her and she provided so much support for me when I was crying in the bathroom or throwing mood swings around the apartment. She didn't sugar coat anything though and that's what I loved about her.

"Don't, Ky, I swear I'm fine. Just tired; I didn't sleep remember." I put my hand to my forehead and rubbed my temples. She had to believe that performance.

"She wants you to stay." I snap my head up and wonder if it was possible I could have gotten whiplash from that. I had that once and it was nothing to do with my changing CDs and not paying attention to the road. Anyway, I crashed the car and my neck was killing, some nice doctor massaged my neck at the hospital. Speaking of which, I have his number somewhere.

"Who does? The sexy brunette that was here last time?" Yeah, avoid the issue, 2 more points to the eldest Davies sister. That gives me three and Kyla had none. I win. I don't know what I'm winning but it feels good and I like it.

"Steph? Ew, no, don't even go there." She pulled a face and flailed her hands around before sitting down, crossing her legs and pulling her feet onto her thighs. How that is healthy I will never know.

"What? She's hot. Like really, really, really hot." I lick my finger and do a little 'tsst' sound into the air. Another point to me as Kyla laughs.

"She's also like really, really, really straight." This time she licked her finger and made the 'tsst' sound. "Need some ice for the burn." No, and you're not getting any points either because that move is copyrighted.

"Shut up." I can say that to her, I'm older. We stayed quiet for a little while as Kyla did a few more little stretches and then turned back to me.

"I know you don't want to stay and you don't even have to but Spencer told me that she wants you to stay tonight." She lent back on her arms and pushed her stomach up. That's just un-natural.

"Why? We haven't spoken in over four years and we haven't been together for five. Why does she want me around now?" It's true. I have a point. We tried the whole, 'lets-stay-friends' thing but I freaked out when I realised I could never be just a friend to her. Our friendship stayed strong for about 6 months and then we drifted and then that was it.

"I don't know. Maybe she wants to make things right and start your friendship all over again." She must have seen the look in my eyes because she lent forward and put her hand on my knee, her legs still in that freaky position. "If you don't want to then you don't have to. It's up to you." She untangled herself and stood up, shaking her legs out and stretching.

"It's my house. I can choose if I stay or not." That was my best answer, okay?

"I know. I'm going for a shower." And then she was gone. Yeah, I'm sure of it now. She's some strange robotic sister here to either make my life harder or sort out my issues. I lean back and play with the hem of my black wife-beater.

You know what? It might be fun to have a sleepover.

**Okay, I know it's not the best thing ever but I hope you can review and tell us what you like and don't like. **


	2. With Every Heartbeat

**Thanks to all who reviewed. I was kind of worried about this, mainly because it's the first South of Nowhere I've wrote, so ya know, sorry if it goes suddenly crap.**

**I've pushed the narrative forward because I just wanted to get to the actual storyline, plus I got stuck halfway through the other draft, started again and got this. **

**Rachelle Leah, by the way, I don't really know who she is. But my brother is besotted with her so I thought I would put her in this; just for him. She is fair pretty but I don't really look at girls that way so... lol.**

**Anyway, enough of my little rambles, on with chapter 2. Don't own it, except Steph and maybe the bottle, but that's all. **

**Ch 2: With Every Heartbeat.**

I was utterly bored and I've already chewed of my thumb nail. I don't generally like these kind of things anyway; I mean, I grew out of sleepovers when I was 10 or something. I'm twenty three now and I wonder how I got myself into this.

Firstly, I should be in some bar, chatting up a random person and trying not to remember that tonight, five years ago, my heart was in the gutter somewhere being stamped on by the blonde who was sat in my living room. And secondly, being in the room with my ex is weird enough without us ignoring one another. I mean she wanted me here.

Did I mention she was cute when she was nervous? If I didn't I'm doing it now, because she is, I don't care about the past because right now all I can see is her. I don't see why she's ignoring me though, I didn't do anything wrong. All I did was blank her when she arrived, refused a hug and didn't come out of my bedroom for an hour. It's my damn house! And Kyla's, but I'm older than her so I get privileges. I suppose in the three hours she's been here I could have said more than 'hey' to her.

Afterall she talked to me for about twenty minutes and all I did was either nod my head, shrug or act like I didn't hear her. Its her fault for looking so damn sexy, I couldn't talk to her anyway because everytime I tried my throat would go dry and I'd stutter. Ashley Davies does not stutter. So, I kept my mouth shut.

Another round of giggles prompted me to roll my eyes. You honestly wouldn't think this group of women were professional twenty-something's, holding down high paying jobs and carrying whatever baggage they had. I suppose that's the point of staying at one another's house though, just letting your inhabitations go and loosening up. Kyla looks at me looking at Spencer and I can see her shake her head out of the corner of my eye. Whoever invented open-plan living never thought about being able to hide away in the kitchen, did they? I bring the bottle of beer to my lips and swallow what is left of the drink before wondering briefly if Madison is willing to go out somewhere. It was only 9:15, she couldn't be that busy.

"Ash, come sit with us." Kyla, my sweet dear darling sister, please do me a simple favour and fuck off. I'm happy here with my beer and my phone and watching you make fools of yourself. You and Spencer and that hot brunette from last time. Straight Steph as I like to call her in my head. "Now and don't even think about telling me to fuck off." See, I told you! I told you she can read minds.

I take my time collecting another drink and going into the living area of my apartment, my eyes scan over the girls attire, I can't help it, it's a reflex. Spencer has some boy shorts on with a top that has a worn picture on it, she's showing enough flesh to tease but to give the impression that those are her bed-clothes and she intends on keeping them on. Kyla, as usual, has those damn pink things on and the hot girl, Steph (must remember to call her Steph, not hot girl), she looks tempting in short shorts and a vest top. I still look the best in my super-short shorts and my low riding top.

Well, you never know who could stay the night, you should always be prepared.

"We're gonna play truth or dare. Spin the bottle. One of them." Okay, she's hot but she sounds like a five year old. What's her name again? I just smile at her and she grins back, she must have just gotten her teeth whitened at the dentist recently because those babies are not natural. She could have blinded me.

"You don't have to join in if you don't want to." Damn it. Why is it everytime that girl speaks my heart just decided to stop beating? One of these days I could be behind the wheel of a car or something. That would so be all her fault. My gaze falls on Spencer and I fall in love for the seventh time that night. Why did I agree to this? I'm torturing myself and I'm too cute to torture.

"Whatever, I'm here, I might as well." I shrug and sit on the floor, next to the hot girl and across from Spencer. Kyla leans backwards, her yoga _is _paying off afterall, and puts a empty bottle in the middle of the four of us. My eyes wander over Spencer's body and I'm hooked again; she does it on purpose I'm positive. I close my eyes briefly, no I can't think of wanting her, it's over. Kyla's spinning the bottle now and I open my eyes. I watch it and as it slows down I resist the urge to blow it away from me. Oh fuck, the damn thing is staring me right in the face and Kyla has that look in her eyes. Like the time her drama teacher had said she had second place in a play, basically meaning if the lead role couldn't be played by person number one, Kyla would get it, the look was evil then and it is now. I swear to this day Kyla had a part in the kids broken leg.

"So, Ash, truth or dare?" I don't even want to look her in the eyes. She is most definatley a Davies girl. I go with the one that I know I can get out of easier without resulting in me being naked or making out with an inanimate object.

"Truth." She sighs and I'm glad, I know she had something real evil planned for me.

"Okay." It goes quiet while she thinks and I steal a glance at Spencer, she's looking back but is avoiding my eyes. Turning I look at Steph and I notice she dosen't look away from me, she ain't straight. I just decided. "How many girls have you slept with?" Oh dear God.

"I - uh." Oh, crap, crap, crap. She can't ask that, not when my ex is in the room and a very hot, very bisexual, woman is sat next to me. Yes I just decided the girls sexuality, but seriously, she puts Rachelle Leah to shame.

"Ash?"

"Enough to get me a reputation but not enough to be in the Lesbian book of records." I grin, mainly because that could be partially true but also because I thought of a witty answer when I was under pressure. Again I look over at Steph and let my eyes scan her body and I know she knows I'm looking. "Not yet anyway." Unconsciously I lick my lips and the brunette bites her lip shyly. Oh she's so gay. I let her see my eyes are on her lips and I quickly turn back to the other two, my heart sinking immediately at the look on Spencer's face. She looks upset and mad, maybe jealous, and I know it was to do with my open flirting. I'm a free girl though, she let me go, I can do what I please. I put my hand on the bottle and spin it, not really caring where it goes. The little bottle comes to a standstill at Steph's foot and I'm not sure if I'm glad or not but deep down I know there is someone else I'd rather it landed on.

"Hey, it's me." She would so be my type if she didn't speak. She has the kind of voice that you have to second check her age. "Go easy on me." No chance, I'm Ashley.

"Truth or Dare?" I haven't looked at her yet, the image of Spencer's face is still in my mind, it reminded me of when I looked in the mirror a week after our breakup and I realised my heart had shattered.

"Oh, oh, dare? No truth!" Did she just squeak? That was only cute when Spencer did it and it only happened when I tickled her. Normally I would take their first answer but I didn't really want to think of a dare for her to do.

"Okay. Do you think I'm hot?"

"Ashley!" I heard Kyla cry behind me and I couldn't help but let a laugh escape my throat. How could she not see that one coming? Seriously. I send a glance to Kyla but I catch my little blonde on the way and she seems dejected. I knew tonight wasn't going to be all smiles, laughter and reunions but her being sad was not one of the other options. I put myself back into Ashley mode and grin at my sister.

"What? The rules say I can ask any question I want and the other person has to answer." I look at Steph and tilt my head to the side. "If you don't answer you'll have to do a dare."

"What would that be Ashley? She has to make-out with you?" See, my heart stopped again and my stomach dropped through the floor. I look at Spencer and her eyes have changed colour slightly, they're darker and I know it's because she's one of two things. Confused or angry. I shake my head invisibly as I try to find an answer from all the things whirling through my mind at the present time and I feel Kyla's eyes on me.

"No." Best answer award goes to, drum roll please, me! Because I came up with that all by myself.

"Aw, that would be such a good dare too." Holy crap, I was too focused on Spencer that I forgot Steph was sat right beside me, her voice scared the living daylights out of me. I look at her with a confused face and she sends me a smile only the devil could resist, and maybe a few nuns. "Too bad I can't do that, so in answer to your question. Yeah, I think you're hot."

"I thought you were straight." Spencer's talking again and I know it's the second option of her emotions. She's angry and I can hear it in her voice, it's so obvious and I wish I could stand up and lead her somewhere else so we could talk. But I'm a coward.

"Bi." Okay, this night is getting way too weird - even for me. Spencer just nods her head and we all sit in silence while the bottle is spinning again, her eyes widen when it lands on her but she looks up and smiles happily anyway.

"Dare." Her eyes lock with mine for a moment before she blushes a little bit. See, always said she was cute. "I think we could do with one." She's feeling rebellious because she's pissed off, I know her too well.

"Oh." The squeaky hot girl has a sing-song voice on and all dirty images of us are fully erased from my memory. Okay, so I don't always have great taste. "I dare you to..." She looks around almost as if she was trying to find an object or something. "Drink my famous cocktail." She had a cute little smug smile on her face, but really, I wasn't that desperate. Even if she had legs to kill for and a body that seemed flawless.

"Alright." A moment later Steph has gotten up and is in the kitchen, making a bit of noise as she seached through our cupboards for a glass and the alcohol. Kyla sends me a distressed look and jumps up, making sure nothing is broken. Now it's just me and Spence. She's fiddling with her nails and I build myself up.

"You sure you want to do this?" I tease. She looks up at me and shrugs.

"You sure you want to talk to me?" She has to have caught the look on my face because it's reflected on hers too. I honestly can't be without this woman and how I survived these past 5 years without being able to kiss her I will never know. I bite my lip and she sends me an apologetic smile, we're both being stupid but one of us has to back down.

"Spence..." Damn it, I never usually back down first! I close my eyes when I feel her soft hand cover mine. I know now, we both do, we're ready for a reconciliation. Then the whole damn thing is ruined when Steph sits back down and nudges me in the shoulder. Do I have a sign that says she can touch me or something? The moments gone when Spencer retracts her hand and uses it to take the drink being offered to her.

I tried so hard, I swear to God I tried, but I couldn't help laughing at the face Spencer pulled when she downed that drink. It went from amused, to shocked, to disgusted and finally to one that didn't even have an explanation.

"Oh, my God." Aw, she squeaked. I like it when she squeaks it makes her sound all adorable. "What the hell is in that? Jesus Christ. Are you trying to fucking kill me?" Hey, adorable people don't swear. Unless they are me and then there's an exception to the rule. Though, I have to admit, she sounds sexy with that low voice. Steph and my sister are laughing like idiots now, because only they know what was in the drink and I can't help to grin as I look at her.

"You don't want to know." Kyla manages through her childish giggles. Spencer rolls her eyes and catches me looking; this time neither of us look away. Tonight isn't the time or the place to talk about our past and what we should do in the future but I can see it in her face she wants to go over some things. I honestly don't know how I coped without her. 4 years of nothing, 5 of not being able to hold her, and I convinced myself I was fine and then out of nowhere, and 3 hours of her being in my house, I realise I need her.

"If I die. You're paying for my funeral." She's laughing a little bit now, God how I've missed that laugh, I'm too caught up in her I don't even realise she's span the bottle again. "You know, I remember a slightly different version to this game."

Oh. Shit.

Just to clarify, I made that game up when I was drunk and in love. The bottle landed on me and I knew what was going through her mind, the game was being ignored and she wanted to bring up our past in a humorous conversation. She picked up the bottle and began playing with it, signalling the end of the game and smiled at Kyla.

"Do we even want to know?" No, Kyla, you honestly and truly don't and I will defend my honor and go down fighting.

"I do." Damn it, Steph. I do not care if you're sexy as hell, mine and Spencer's secret spin the bottle game is not for sharing and is copyrighted to me. I refuse to share it's secrets and divulge the many hours we spent playing it.

"Alright then. But if I share this story you all have to share your own." Nodding eagerly at her Spencer grinned, happy with her audience and the chance to physically kill me. I give her a look and I let her know I don't mind. To be honest, I want to share all the memories as much as she does.

Then again I don't want to fall into those memories and forget how to swim.

I think I'm going to get another drink.

**That's all I'm doing for now, I have a full chapter done too so that will be up soon aswell. And don't worry we will get some Spashley moments but it's always fun to draw them out. **


	3. Hands Held High

**Did this just before revision for my Sociology exam tomorrow. Sorry if it's rushed but I had to get it out because I don't know when I can do anymore, November is a stupid month at college. They decide they love exams and putting extra coursework on the curriculum! **

**Don't own it! 'Cept Steph.**

**Ch 3: Hands Held High**

If this was any other situation, any other night, any other people I would find the whole thing hilarious. But I don't. Why? Because my sister is passed out, cute little hot girl is in her underwear and at this very moment Spencer is gyrating around some sweeping brush. This, my friends, is why we only play Ashley's spin-the-bottle with two people.

The game in itself is simple, its sexy truth and dare basically, only; if you don't do either one of those you have to down 2 shots or take off an item of clothing. Hence why my sister is half-dead on the floor, the only sign on her being alive is when she sits up to spin the bottle and then falls back down into her lying position.

I shiver, not because of the little show, but because I have no damn top on. I knew I should have taken the dare; it can't have been that bad. Spencer, who is the only sober one with me, finally sits down and sends me a dazzling smile. I don't know if I should jump up and take her there or just smile back. I go with the second one, mainly because at some point during the night Steph took my hand into her own and I was too disturbed by my sister recalling an incident she had in the back of a car to pull it away.

"So, how was that?" Okay, fine, I was the one who dared her to do that. Nothing to do with being perverted or anything I just had nothing else for her to do, well, apart from me but I'm assuming that is out of the question.

"Ten out of ten." I send another glance to my groaning sister as she sits up and sways to her right just a little bit. She really needs to be more rebellious, but she stated she was in no circumstances getting topless in a room of three women lovers. I pointed out that I was her sister, and not into incest, then she shut up. It's funny to watch a drunken person playing spin the bottle, they watch it go around and around and look genuinely amazed it's really quite cute.

"Kyla. It's you, are you sure you're up to it?" Giggling a little my sister poked the bottle and stood up, using our very expensive couch as a guide, and she threw her arms outwards. She was kind of like a lopsided Titanic wannabe.

"Bring it on." I couldn't figure if she was smiling or not and she shot her eyebrows up. Her index finger was pointing upwards and we all stared at her for a moment as she thought, very hard apparently, about what she was going to say. "Dare!" That wasn't so hard. She stumbled a few steps back and chuckled to herself as she sat on the arm of the couch. The very expensive one. That I refuse to have fixed if her fat ass breaks it.

"I dare you to..." Spencer eyed my sister, obviously wondering if she was in any state to be running around in circles or something of the like. "Go down to the doorman and give him a little dance." Like she would ever do that, she was too hung up on Gayden to even think about anyone else. I admired that monogamous side of her; I wish I had it sometimes. Then my phone wouldn't have so many damn numbers in it with names like: "Cute face or fine ass or tastes like strawberries." I really should try and remember people's names.

"Okay." She stood up and made a little noise like she was some sort of rebel. Wait, she was going to give a lap-dance to some random door man when her boyfriend was away doing some sporting thing? I'm so proud. She sauntered out of the apartment and I shot like a bat out of hell to the balcony where I had a perfect view of everything going on down there. Damn it, I forgot my top and it's way too cold to be stood out here.

"Here." I turned around and saw Spencer holding out a jacket to me. I didn't say anything, even if I could of I would have still been speechless, she always had that effect on me. I took it and wrapped myself in it, reveling in the warmth.

"Thanks." I looked at her and she made sure that it was her eyes I looked into. We stood for a moment before I opened my mouth; one of us had to say something. "Spence I..."

"Where is she?" If I was a violent person I would have hit Steph right in that moment. Wait, I am a violent person. I turn around instead and peer down to see my sister running her finger down the bemused mans chest, I figured I wouldn't hit her; I didn't want to rid the world of any beautiful women. I was a bitch but I wasn't stupid. I nod towards Kyla and Steph stands beside me, her hand resting on top of mine as I leant on the railing. Before I could register what was happening she had me pushed against the wall and was whispering something in my ear. If I could actually figure out what the hell was happening I would have been able to understand what she was telling me. All I got was 'dance' and 'private' and 'tonight'.

"I should go inside." I turned to Spencer who had both thumbs pointing over her shoulder and was already taking a few steps back. Damn it all to hell! Why was it I was being come onto by a beautiful woman and yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from another who broke my heart. This was way too complicated and I decided I needed to get reacquainted with the drinks cabinet shortly.

"No." I pushed Steph away a little bit and ignored the expression on her face. Not that I cared. "Come on. We're watching Kyla ruin her reputation by making a 45 year old man very happy." I send her a smile but she just shakes her head.

"Obviously you two should be alone for a few moments; it's fine I need a drink anyway." Before I could even open my mouth the doors were being closed as she stepped inside. I look at the floor and shuffle my sock covered feet. I barely feel the hand on my waist and I brought my head up to look at the woman in front of me. She really was beautiful, I couldn't deny that, but she wasn't Spencer and she was never going to be Spencer.

"I can't do this." Wow, it's been a while since I said that. "Another time maybe?" There was the old Ashley Davies I've grown to love and hate.

"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong or get the wrong signals?" I shook my head and looked down at Kyla as she straddled the poor guy. He seemed to be enjoying it but in the light of his job was pushing her gently away.

"No. I just can't." I continue to watch, a smile growing, as the guard presses a button and a second later my intercom begins to buzz loudly. Spencer answers it; I can hear her voice even here, and the next I know the front door has been shut.

"I thought you liked me?" Oh, crap, forgot about her. She moved her lips and they hovered over mine, I know what shes trying to do and I don't stop her. Ugh, she's one of those kissers that loves to take control but has no idea whatsoever what they are doing. I robotically move my lips across hers in a silent tango before I pull away. Okay, it was a nice enough kiss but it wasn't working for me. I shake my head and I hope to whoever that she gets the message.

"I do. It's just - complicated." I look at her and she sighs. Thanks, add guilt on top of my confusion and self-pity. "Sorry." She just nods before giving me a kiss on the cheek, her lips are soft but they are not the ones I want to feel.

"Nevermind."

She leaves me on my own and I look down to find Spencer leading Kyla away and the guard watching on. I really should apologize to him tomorrow; he's the nice one who helps me to my room when I'm blind drunk and struggling to keep my body upright. I reach into my pocket and take out the packet of cigarettes. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't smoke but I do and it's not like I'm addicted, I can go days without, I just need one. The front door shuts and I'm amazed at how quick Spencer got her up here; thank God for elevators huh? I lean on the railing again, inhale the cigarette I've just lit and sigh deeply at the calming effect it has on my body. Amazing how this one little white stick can kill me and calm me down all at the same time.

I close my eyes and hang my head a little as thoughts and memories race through my mind. Normally I ignore them, fuck some girl and forget they were ever there, it usually works but tonight I just let them enter my mind. I remember our first kiss, our first time, the first fight we had, the first date and I smile. Then I remember the prom, Aiden, all the tears and the tantrums and inevitably the end of us when Spencer told me she couldn't do it anymore. I close my eyes tighter, refusing to let any sign of a tear trace my cheek, I don't cry. I hear the door open behind me as I open my eyes and take another long drag, puffing the smoke out into the night sky and watch it disappear. It would be so much easier if heartache was like smoke; just hang around for a little while and then leave. But it stays and it lingers and it hurts just a little less everyday. I frown, I hate getting like this.

"I didn't know you smoked." Her voice was always soft but it had a slight accent to it and it was low. I loved it, especially at nights over the phone when she would tell me about what she wanted to do with her life and how much she wanted me in it. Teenage fantasies, huh?

"Only when I have something on my mind." I bring the little stick to my lips again and feel it's presence of nicotine filling my chest. I'm bored of it already and I blow what smoke there is out of my mouth and flick the remaining cigarette into a bucket of rainwater in the corner. I knew I had that out here for something. See, I'm the girl with the plan.

"Why are you out here?" I shrug, it's my best answer and I like it.

"Thinking, I like to come out here sometimes to clear my mind." I mindlessly tap some tune onto the railing with my fingers and stare at the city lights. "You can see stars sometimes, not many, but I saw a few and..." I trailed off. There was no way in hell I was going to tell her I'd kept my promise to name a star after her so I could look up at night and think about her before falling asleep. I had to though, I don't like backing out Spencer, and it's the biggest and brightest damn one. Probably the one everyone says is named after their loved one but I don't care; it's Spencer to me. Brighter than everyone else, bigger than them all and the most noticed one. The one everyone wants their lover to be. "It's kinda pretty." Lame save, but it was a save nonetheless and that means I get more points.

I wonder how many self-given points I have gotten over the years. Must be thousands, I wonder if I get a prize.

"I named one, once." She's stood beside me and her head is turned towards me so when she speaks I get a blast of hot air on my ear. Not good, this situation could turn into one when I'm horny and she wants nothing to do with me. I don't answer I let her finish her story, I could never interrupt her, even when she paused; it just meant she was thinking. "The most noticeable one, the shiniest star, I called it Ashley." I held back the laugh that I wanted to release. That was her star, the one I named after her, the one everyone wants to be. It was most definatly not me.

"Great minds think alike." I smile and look at her and she understands what I mean. She could always tell what I meant when I smiled at her and let out a little comment. Amazing that girl is I'll tell you that for free. We stay silent for a few moments only our breathing making the most distinctive noise.

"We should go inside, it's getting cold." I shake my head and it instantly begins to spin when I feel her hand on my arm. I'm dizzy now and I wonder how the hell that possessed girl in the Exorcist could do it, I don't know which way is up. God, what Spencer does to me.

"No, you go on. I'm going to stay out here for a while." She won't let go of my arm and my hearts beating faster. This isn't healthy I tell you; I could die from the reactions my body gives when she's near. It would be all her fault if I collapsed now.

"It's cold though." I shrug and she pulls away. Oh, she better not be disappointed. "You can't run from whatever you're feeling forever." I laugh bitterly, she has absolutely no idea.

"It keeps me fit and healthy. You don't get a stomach like mine by sitting around eating chocolate and laughing at Jerry Springer." My nail chips the paintwork on the railing and it sails down to the street somewhere. I'd watch it go but I can feel Spencer's eyes on me and I'm worried if I move she'll zap me into oblivion.

"That was always your problem, Ash, you always ran." How can she be angry and sound so sad? God, I hope I didn't make her bi-polar or something; I don't want that on my gravestone. "Why can't you ever face your problems?"

"Because my problem - she - my problem is you Spencer." Oh, shit, that came out really nasty and mean and I can see it on her face. Bad Ashley. "I mean...I don't actually know what I mean." I turn around and lean my back into the railing, folding my arms, for some extra warmth, beneath my breasts I look at her and pity her. I always brought some drama into her life and I wasn't going to start again. "Go back inside you look freezing."

"How am I your problem? We've not even spoken for years and this is the longest conversation we have had all night." She fiddles with some string on her top, it was a distraction method, more for her, and she always did it when she was nervous.

"I know. I'm sorry about that and I don't want you to feel like you used to around me."

"In love?" No, I would like that very much and I would sell my sister if I could have you in my life for just an hour.

"No. In pain, hurting, confused by everything I brought to you. I always had a problem and expected everything from you but when you had something wrong I ran and I wasn't there. You're obviously better off without me and I don't want you to go through that again." I hated insecure Ashley because even she made everything about her. Only confident Ashley could pull it off, just like I can pull those yellow heels off.

"But I - Ashley you..." She frowned and I noticed she got an extra little crease in her forehead when she did. I probably put that there. "I don't know what to say." Say you love me.

"It dosen't matter." I push myself up off of the railing and motioned if she wanted to go inside but she didn't. "Spencer this is my issue you shouldn't have to worry, we've both moved on." Well you have. I'm still throwing mood-swings when the girl I slept with leaves and I realise it wasn't you.

"You didn't explain why I'm your problem and I'm not leaving until you do. What have I done?" She closes her eyes and I can't help it. I hug her, wrap my arms around her body and pull her close and God does it feel amazing. Her arms are around me and I close my eyes, leaning into her, remembering every curve of her body and I hold her to me. I haven't held her in so long, I've dreamt about it but it never compares. She still smells like vanilla and something entirely Spencer.

"Nothing. You never did anything and you never will; you're perfect." I lean away from her but she dosen't let go of me. "I just can't tell you." She bites the side of her lip and glances down at the floor, unwrapping her arms from my shaking body and taking a step back.

"Why?"

"Because I've just got you back in my life and I'm scared I'm going to lose you again." Okay, where the hell did my attitude go? Oh, yeah, it ran off to New York with my confidence and they're now sipping cocktails in some bar and being picked up by arrogance and pride.

"You won't. Do you have any idea how hard it's been not being able to speak to you or see you, Ash?" I nod slowly, trust me, I know. "You're not the only one who had her heart broken." I close my eyes at that sentence and force back the tears. I didn't want to even imagine her crying or in pain and the very thought of it made me feel sick. Her hands are on my arms and I stop shaking, she notices it to because she moves herself closer to me again. "Tell me please."

"Promise you wont let me go?" I open my eyes and she's sending me that smile.

"I promise. Tell me what you're feeling." Oh, God, that's a list and a half. I open my mouth and close it again quickly, resembling a little fish. I'd be the cool fish of the sea though, those ones with the huge tails and the pouty lips. Wait, isn't that Angelina Jolie as one? I don't care; I'm her now, minus Brad and the kids.

"Jealousy, guilt, resentment, hate, confusion, love - trust me Spence, the list can go on and on." She smiles and I wonder why, she mouths 'Spence' to me and I can't help but smile back. She is way too cute; she'll probably be a kitten in her next life.

"I bring out all those?" I nod. Yep you do. "How?" I raise my eyebrow and before I can answer Kyla stumbles through the doorway and we spring apart so I can grab my sister and save her falling many stories to her death. She better thank me for that one day.

"We're baking brownies. Inside now, both of you, no refusals." With that she's gone and so is the moment. I send Spencer a look and with it I promise we will talk about it later, right now though my stomach reminds me I haven't eaten and there's brownie mix less that 6 metres away.


	4. Finally Awake

**Thanks for all the reviews. Wrote this up in, like, an hour or two - so sorry for it's crappiness. **

**Ch 4: Finally Awake.**

I've been told before that at night you think about everything and anything. Sometimes you have a song in your head that you either can't place or you can't get rid of and other times you just think about little things during the day. I think about everything, anything and all the in betweens.

When I was little I sometimes thought about my dad, what it would be like if he came home one random day and never left again. For ages I'd pride myself on knowing I was his baby and he could never forget about his little girl, dads didn't do that, they always came back.

When I grew a little older I'd think about how I would want my prince charming to stand under my window with a boom-box and drive me off into the sunset, raining kisses over my face and repeatedly telling me he loved me and I was the only girl for him. He'd be tall and handsome and popular and I'd be his angel and we would live happily ever after in some house with music forever playing and some expensive car.

It was only when I became a teenager my prince turned into a princess and my dad never came home. Life is always full of what-ifs and they keep me awake at night more than anything else in the entire world. Global warming has nothing on my fears that if I'd woken up a second earlier or if I'd said hi to someone different in preschool my life would have turned out for the better.

So that's why I'm awake now, glaring at my laptop like it will rush time on and writing some random lyrics into it. I came to bed early, something I haven't done in a long time, and shut out the laughter of the three girls in my living room. I couldn't cope and it was nothing to do with the high-pitched giggling and the tedious talk of fashion, though that was annoying, it was because I was getting way too dizzy being in the same room as Spencer. I reach over and grab the beer bottle I have on my desk. It's not like I'm dependent on alcohol to get me through hard times I just like the taste. Honest.

I glance at the clock and notice it's almost half two, normally I'd still be dancing with some girl at this time and instead of doing that I'm sat in my bedroom, drinking some beer and writing a random song. Seriously, what happened to Ashley? The one that I molded and formed and worked on for three years. That took a lot of effort that did, I'll tell you, it was a constant battle having to flirt and dance and drink the nights away.

I start typing again after putting the bottle back, it's not the best thing I've ever wrote and I doubt I'll even sing it but that dosen't matter. It's about getting it down, writing away feelings and putting them into words that mean something to everyone else and not just you. There's a knock at my door and I look up. Kyla better not have the wrong room again, I remember once when she went out for her birthday she stumbled in and climbed into my bed. Waking up to a stranger is one thing but waking up to your sister stealing all the covers and mumbling about Aiden in her sleep was something entirely different and disturbing on some level.

"Ash?" I frown. Why was she at my door? I ignore it, maybe she'll think I'm not in and go annoy someone else. I'm not bi-polar or anything and I know only a few hours ago I wanted to kiss the life out of her but right now I didn't want to see her. She opens my door and steps inside. Is there a sign or something that says people in minimal clothing can step inside this doorway? No, there isn't. That sign is above my bed and has rules on it on how limited that clothing can be.

"What do you want?" My eyes linger a little too long on her legs before moving up her body to her face. She'd tied her blonde hair back high on her head and was now biting the corner of her lip like it was the last thing she would ever eat. _Heh...eat. _

"I couldn't sleep." Woop-de-doo for you. Neither can I. "I figured you might be awake and I was wondering, maybe, we could talk. Like we used to." No, 'cause our late night talks always ended up with me having to have a cold shower. Not something I plan on doing any time soon. I don't say anything and just motion for her to come inside. I like this room, it's one of the biggest, and I have my double bed and my couch (which I had to bring) and a big ass TV which I adore. She pads across the floor and sits on my couch, crossing her legs and looking at me as if I'm going to randomly jump off the bed and bite her. Which I would never do, unless she asked of course.

"Why don't you just get some cocoa? There's some in the cupboard near the top." She always used to drink that to help get her to sleep. The amount of times she would wake me up, because she couldn't sleep, so I could just go downstairs with her to make cocoa was bordering on obsessive. She had a fear for about a month of going downstairs alone when it was dark; something about being attacked or someone being there. It was stupid but adorable all at the same time and I always went with her when she needed to go downstairs, I was there to support her afterall.

"Didn't fancy any and I didn't want to go into your living room. It's so dark." She sends me a smile. Oh, Kyla's mind-reading skills have worn off on her, she's a little infesting robot that sister of mine. That's why I don't like spending too much alone time with her; she could blackmail be forever.

"Turn a light on." I close the file on the computer and shut it down. I can't write a song about Spencer when she is in the room with me that's way too creepy. I watched her shrug and figured I'd said the wrong thing, damn it. How does she make me feel so bad just by not looking at me? If I didn't love her so much I'd hate her. Or at least dislike her a little bit.

"You didn't tell me how I made you feel all those things." I know, I specialize in avoidance and have a degree in it. Are you proud, mom?

"Yeah, I was tired." This would be a perfect time to yawn if I wasn't so wide awake. Maybe those energy drinks earlier are starting to have a bigger effect than I thought.

"Obviously." I roll my eyes and slide my laptop under my bed. Perfect hiding place. "You look it." I move onto my stomach and look at her unsure of what to say to that really. I think it was an insult but I'm not too clear.

"Maybe I don't want to tell you." Yes, I can act like a three year old if I want to. I'm just as cute as one and my skin is just as soft.

"Please?" Meh, what the hell? My life can't get any suckier and there's no fear in driving her away anymore. She made a promise.

"Fine. What were my feelings?" I smile and she knows the game I'm playing, I can see it in her eyes. She gets up and the next thing I know she's sat on my bed and in the weird position I'm in I'm forced to sit up so we're at eye level. They're a little lighter blue now, her eyes, and there's a flicker of something I can't quite figure out. She has things on her mind; I know that, you can see the cogs moving around at an alarming speed.

"Jealousy." She looks at me and I figure she wants to do this slowly. One at a time, explanations and answers, with me answering slowly. I move and lie back, I love this pillow it's just so fluffy. I take a few moments to ponder about if I should actually do this. It takes a lot to be honest with myself nevermind anybody else. No, stop looking at me like that! I hate when she's like that, all sympathetic and patient it makes it harder for me to avoid the issue.

"I'm jealous that you have made such a great life for yourself and I'm not in it." That wasn't so hard but I really need a drink. She scoots further onto the bed and sits in an Indian style position. This is some new crazy phase isn't it? Sitting cross legged and trying to work out what I'm feeling. Whatever, the magazines Kyla and Spencer read - I'm going to burn them.

"You're in it now and it's not that great. Just a lot of work and not much play, unlike you, little miss I'm-so-rich-and-can-get-anyone-I-want." She says it with a teasing tone but I raise my eyebrow anyway. I don't get everyone but I'm not going to tell her that. "Uh, the next was...guilt? I think."

"I hurt you. I hesitated at the prom and I left when you needed me the most." Simple answers might get her to leave quicker because her face has saddened and the only way I know how to cheer someone up is to make them forget about things.

"It's in the past." We're both quiet now. I came back, after running, but when I did she told me she couldn't be with me anymore. She told me it was too confusing and it hurt too much and all I could do was stand there. I was screaming on the inside, wanting to shake her and tell her to shut up and tell me that she loved me, but I stood frozen and I watched her leave. Just like that, the door closed and an hour passed and I still hadn't moved. She's thinking about the next thing I said, she was always good at remembering things, like my birthday. No-one else but her really seemed to remember that, her and some other insignificant people I can place at the moment. Damn her little head tilty thing. "What is it that you resent?"

"Anyone that has ever touched you." Her eyes snap up to meet mine.

"Yeah. The feelings mutual." No it's not, Spence. You don't dream about hurting anyone who has touched the person you love. You haven't lain on your balcony thinking up ways that you can find to be able to be the only one in the world to hold someone you want. Instead of saying that though I just nod. I don't like this game anymore. "Confusion and hate I think are the other two you mentioned." She leans back against the pillow-thing, I don't know what it is, and stretches her legs out. They will be the death of me those will.

"I'm confused about everything, all that I'm feeling, and I hate the fact that I still love you." There, I think we cleared it all up in that sentence. She dosen't need to ask me about love or anything else, I've told her and I snapped it. I really don't like this game.

"Oh." That's not an answer, that's a freaking letter in the alphabet that's disguised as a word. I mean, come on, she should have seen this coming. What, with her stupid degrees and whatever else. She should have known, I mean, I've hardly masked it.

"Yeah." I hate it when it's quiet.

"Even after all this time?" I just nod, it's not that I don't like my own voice, I do, it makes me smile; I just don't trust it at the moment. She moves towards me and I have a distinct feeling that I look like a complete freak, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. I'm still hot though. I turn my head; she's next to me now. When did she get so fast?

"What are you doing?"

"I'm tired." Then go to your own bloody room then. Oh, I think my therapist may have been right about me finding it hard to share things. I would tell her to leave but she's cuddling up to my pillow, you know the fluffy one. It's so the best thing I have ever bought.

"Maybe you should go back to the guest room." I've shared my bed with many women in the past but Spencer is by far the most beautiful and I'm pretty sure that why my stomach is hosting a frat party for heavy weight sumo wrestlers. She just shakes her head a holds my pillow closer.

"No. I wanna stay here."

"After what I've just said?" Cause, you know, most people would have gone running out of the room screaming 'stalker' by now.

"What about everything I've been saying to you all night?" She opens her eyes and I drown. I must look confused because she presses forward. "Think about it." She closes her eyes once more and I lie back staring at the ceiling.

_"I know you don't want to stay and you don't even have to but Spencer told me that she wants you to stay tonight." _

She did want me here. I mean we hardly talked until later on but she wanted me here, even if it is my house. What is she trying to say to me? I mean I'm not that good at working these types of things out, I get frustrated at crossword puzzles sometimes.

_"The most noticeable one, the shiniest star, I called it Ashley."_

She remembered that. But so what? People name stars all the time, for all I know she could have named that right after I'd promised her about naming one for her. I slam my eyes shut and hear her breathing even out beside me and I know she's fallen asleep.

_"You're not the only one who had her heart broken." _

Damn it. I really wish I could hate her, honestly, because it would make this whole thing so much easier. I feel like I'm 18 all over again and working my way through knives just so I can avoid having to face her, or my feelings.

_"Spencer this is my issue you shouldn't have to worry, we've both moved on." _

_"You didn't explain why I'm your problem and I'm not leaving until you do. What have I done?" _

She never said she moved on. I sit up and wipe my eyes. We hugged and she practically did all the touching on my arm. Right, now I sound like a desperate person. I look at her body laid on my bed and fight the urge to touch her. And I mean fight, like full on kung-fu in my brain. Instead words are flying out of my mouth and I can't catch them, even if I tried.

"I don't know what you're trying to tell me, Spence. I really wish I knew so then I'd be able to move on. You probably have this amazing girlfriend and you have this life which you have made so much better since I wasn't in it. Whatever you've been trying to say, just say it; let me know where I am so I can go on."

I don't fight the urge now and I stroke her hair, almost having a damn heart attack when her hand comes up and grabs my wrist lightly. Honestly, I think this girl is working undercover to kill me through love so no trace of evidence can be found. What a way to go though, huh? That would my second option, my first being in white hot passion. Her lips are moving and I watch them. No, I should listen to her.

Listen.

I love those lips. They never tasted the same but they were always so familiar.

Listen, damn it. God, I hate it when my therapists are right about my attention span. I shake my head lightly and focus on what she is saying; hearing only the last part.

"...That's why I never got over you."

Eh? She leans forward and those lips are near mine that I've been focused on this whole time.

"I'm not repeating myself." She knows I weren't listening, cheeky sod. "So I'll show you."

And those lips, those amazing lips, are on mine.


	5. Are We The Waiting

**Quick shout out to ****TutorGurl**** for giving me the idea for the Steph part. I was stuck on what to do at the end of this chapter so I used your idea. Anyway, we're coming to a close, a chapter or 2 left, thanks for the reviews.**

**Ch.5: Are We The Waiting.**

Normal people kiss back when the person they love kisses them. Normal people take time to remember and memorize the taste and depth of their lovers mouth. Normal people let the same thing happen over and over again.

Too bad I'm not normal.

I mean, I think I am but according to my little analogy of a normal person then; I'm far from it.

You see I am as parallel to it as Anna Nicole Smith was to J. Howard Marshall. Pretty ugly comparison there since both of them died, I don't need that image.

Anyway, back to why I'm not normal.

Spencer kissed me. I ran to the other side of my room.

Spencer asked me what was wrong. I told her to back off.

Maybe I really am Bi-Polar, or at least crazy. One of the two because I am anything but sane right now; 'cause instead of making out with Spencer I'm becoming increasingly in awe of my floor. It's a very nice floor. I wrap my arms around my legs and pull myself into my defensive mode. See, Kyla has her yoga: I have my legs.

"Ash?" Nope, I will not look up. "Should I go?" Oh, screw this. I look up and she's fiddling with my pillow, the fluffy one, and is refusing to make any type of eye contact. Instead she is staring at my _'Purple Venom' _poster and biting the corner of her lip.

"If you want." Not the answer I was going for. She stands up and it takes me a full five seconds and a whole load of staring at her legs for my brain to start working again. "No, wait, I'm sorry Spencer. Sit down." She does and I have this weird sense of satisfaction that she's doing what I say. I'm really truly and utterly screwed. Under these locks of brown hair there aint much else to see.

"I'm confused." Yep, me too. We should start a clinic; Confused Anonymous, that way they wouldn't have to remember their name or their ailment so there's no embarrassing situations.

"Sorry." I cross my legs and wiggle my foot around to some imaginary song in my head. It's a good song, I like it, I don't even know if it's real but I don't care.

"I thought you wanted this? I thought you said you loved me. I figured this is what you would want." I also want a birthday party that consists of scantily clad women, topless men and a whole load of beer but I don't get that. I get wasted and end up singing the American National Anthem with Kyla.

How did I end up back on the bed? I'm too tired for all this.

"I do. But, Spence, you have to want it too. I spent a lot of time getting what I wanted, taking for granted things that were never really mine, I'm learning now it's not all about me. I need to know that what I want is what someone else wants too." That's all true so don't even think it isn't. I've always cared about the people I love and whatever else but I always did certain things to benefit myself. I got into a relationship with Spencer because, one I loved her, but also because I wanted her all to myself. I wanted to call her mine and nobody else could have her, call it selfish but that's the way it was. Never doubt my feelings though, they were all real.

"Do you honestly think I'd kiss you if I didn't mean it?"

"You did the night we broke up."

Oh, bad Ashley. All those points I've won over the years have downgraded and I'm back to zero. It was true though, one minute were making out and then the next she's telling me I broke her heart and she's walking out of the door. She was right, I didn't know what I wanted, I was running on adrenaline but I needed her. She was my safety blanket on a stormy night and I needed to feel safe. It was all about me again.

"Whatever." Great, she's pissed and I don't care how sexy she looks when her eyes cloud over and she's staring me down; I hate when she's doing anything else but smiling.

"I didn't mean that." I don't think. I look at the clock and it's flashing 3:35, no wonder my body feels so heavy. "Can we talk about this in the morning? Over breakfast or something? I mean we are in LA, there's bound to be something open." I smile and she returns it. That's better. She always suited a smile better than me, when I smile my nose crinkles up and that really dosen't help my badass image.

I know the perfect place to take her for breakfast too, it has coffee to die for and food you'd run over your own mother for. Well I'd run over mine and not for food. It's open every Sunday and Joe, the chef, makes me my favourite. I'm pretty sure he has it ready for when I walk in the door because he always flashes me a big toothy grin and my foods in front of me within minutes, along with his wife's words of wisdom about staying out late. Joe and Ellie are Godsends to the catering world I'll tell you now.

"I'd like that." She lies back on my bed but keeps her eyes trained on me; if anything they've gotten even better over time. A mixture of hues that are so sensitive to her feelings that they give everything away.

"I got that tattoo, you know?" Random much?

"Where?" Is it bad I have a sudden urge to say my breast and watch for a reaction? Yeah? Oh crap. It would be funny though. I pull down the side of my short-shorts and show her that area near your hip where it joins to your stomach. I don't even know what it is but the S is visible there, hidden away from other peoples eyes and there as a reminder. It's cursive, just like I said, but the placing is different.

"See, I don't care if you think I'm crazy. I told you I would get one."

And then I die. Those were my last words.

I snap out of my thoughts a realise I've not actually died but I feel like I might aswell be. Spencer's fingers are tracing the lines of the tattoo and where it's placed it really dosen't help the frat party in my stomach and my raging hormones. I hate having such a high sex drive sometimes, well I don't, I love it, except when I have people like Spencer staring at ink in my almost-lower extremities.

"Why didn't you get it on the inside of your wrist?"

"I don't know. I'd have to explain it everyday, I guess. With it there the only people who see it are me and anyone I'm - It's easier to hide, but I know it's there. Plus that was one of your favourite places to, ya know?" Yeah, I've slept with girls who have asked about it and I've simply told them it stands for 'Sexy'. They're usually too drunk or too horny to ask anymore questions. Spencer blushes and I raise my eyebrows a little, she's way too cute. I realise what I said and I go to make it right but she shakes her head smiling cutely. It was one of her favourite places on my body to kiss, one of my weak spots and generally where her hand landed in her sleep. A perfect place for her initial.

"I can't believe you went ahead and got it." I move away slightly and pull the shorts up to cover it. I shrug in response and a smile graces my face as the blonde in front of me tries, and fails, to stifle a yawn.

"How about we go to bed and talk tomorrow? You're tired." I prod her arm gently and hope she gets the message. I don't want to talk anymore and I'd rather she didn't pass out on my lap, that's never fun.

"Okay." She still hasn't moved and her eyes are still on my face.

"So..." I wait for her to get up and leave. I mean, I set up the guest room for her and Steph and she's hardly used it.

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" I wonder if you can choke on thin air? Or maybe your heart can stop beating from a few words. Either way I'm becoming a victim to both.

"I - Are you sure?" She simply nods and cuddles down into the covers, her eyes peeking over the top and her fingers playing with the material.

"As long as you stay with me." Her hand moves and pulls the cover away giving me the opening to climb into bed with her. "I don't want to go back to the guest room. It's too dark." I take the opportunity and clamber in beside her, keeping my hands to myself and my thoughts at a strictly G-Rated level.

"Night, Spence."

Oh fuckity fuck. Her arms are now wrapped around my midsection and her breath his tickling my neck.

Oh sweet Jesus. She pulls me closer and I'm trying desperately to remember how to breathe. In and out, nice and calm; simple. In and out - all I'm managing to do is the in.

Breath out! I do and it comes in a long sigh.

"I can move if you want?" She feels how uncomfortable I am, how hard it is to keep myself in control but she also knows I don't want her to move. I don't answer and I feel her lips curl into a smile on my shoulder. "Night, Ash."

_----_

_"Hey guys and girls you're listening to your number one voted Radio Station for the third year running, thanks to you the listeners. We're going to start off your Sunday afternoon a little early with the new Aly and AJ song. Just a little fact for you all -" _

"Mpfhhmph." Yes, that was English and no I was not going to listen to that man talk for a second longer or entertain the idea of that song being heard at this stupid hour. My hand reaches out blindly and I knock the radio off from my table, I hate that little bastard each day for waking me up. Even if it is set for eleven o'clock. I lift my head and blink a couple of times, getting used to the light and wondering how I slept face down in a pillow. I look to my side and see the bed is empty, apart from me and my pillows. Spencer did stay in here last night, I'm pretty damn sure of it. I sit up and see a little note on her pillow.

_"Since you're lazy and didn't wake up Kyla decided to take me out shopping for some breakfast. She's cooking. We'll do lunch later today, if you want? Oh and stop chewing your pillow!" _

We'll do lunch? Oh how very kind of you. She's such a business woman.

I roll my eyes but a smile is on my face; she still wants to have some sort of meal with me. I throw my legs out of the bed and go about doing my daily routine; quick shower, do my teeth, get dressed, prance around to the radio for a while and dry my hair. It all takes around 45 minutes and by the time I've thrown my hair up into some sort of messy hairstyle, which suits me, I hear someone in my living room.

I wander in aimlessly as I pull my white vest top down over my stomach I notice Steph reading a newspaper at the breakfast bar. I like her top and I take a mental note to ask her later where she got it from.

"Finally, you're awake. Kyla said if you didn't rise my half-past I had to check you were still breathing." She's sipping at a cup and I register the smell. Coffee! Oh thank you Lord for your caffeine addiction and your great sense in giving people the idea to invent a coffee machine. I head on over to the kitchen and instantly begin making a cup of my favourite black liquid in the world.

"Kyla says a lot of crazy things. I don't listen to her." I inhale deeply before drinking. I think I may have an addiction to it. Seriously, I was on a plane once and I was having serious withdrawals. I was shaking and everything.

"Mmm." What is it with people using letters of the alphabet as words around me? "So, I saw Spencer coming out of your room this morning. Not that I was looking, I mean, Kyla pointed it out." She looks up from the newspaper and I can already read her mind. 'Why her and not me?'

"Oh, yeah?" I sit on one of the stools and think about where I'm going with this. It's not like it's any of her business who goes in and out of my room anyway, then again she is Kyla and Spencer's friend and she has a right to know. I blow over the top of my cup and watch the steam wander in the air before disappearing.

"Yeah." She makes circles with her finger on the counter and I count the seconds before the initial question, which I know she's going to ask, comes out. "So, uh, did you two sleep together?" I got to 14.

"No." I take another long drink and briefly wonder if there is enough coffee in the pot to keep me sustained this morning. "Unless you count sleeping in the same bed _fully clothed _sleeping together." I mean we were sleeping and we were together, who knew how this girls mind worked.

"Oh, so, Kyla says you two have a past." I'd almost feel sorry for leading the poor girl on last night if I wasn't too busy choking on my drink. She pats my back gently, occasionally rubbing in circles and I'm grateful. "Are you okay?"

"Fine thanks. When did Kyla say that?"

"This morning when Spencer came out of your room. We both saw her and Spencer saw us, Kyla was all _'this can't be good for Ash'_ and went to Spencer. They were going on about how they needed to talk and how Kyla didn't want you to be led on and end up hurting like you were before." She went quiet and her eyes caught mine. "Then they said they were going out and I didn't want to intrude." Hm, Kyla being protective. Cute.

"Well you made coffee so that's a good thing." I blame just waking up for my lame lines.

"Do you still like her? Is that why you couldn't do anything with me?" By the time I realise I've been chewing my bottom lip I've almost drawn blood. This was way too intense for just waking up, it was like some freaky TV show.

"Basically. I've never gotten over her." I like this girl. She's so easy to talk to, I must get her a girlfriend.

"But what about all those other women? And men, on occasion." My reputation does get around. Good, I work hard on it. "If you were still hung up on her..."

"To get her out of my system. It didn't work, I still love her." I shrug and drain my coffee. Steph's face drops and I purse my lips together. "Hey, how about me and you go out one night and get you a girl?"

"You're pimping me off?" I take a second to think.

"Yeah." She smiles. I'm a sucker for smiles and head tilts and blue eyes. Whatever, I like her smile it's nice. It lights up her eyes and her whole face becomes a little brighter. This, I call, the Ashley Davies effect.

"Okay. We'll go out sometime. I'll bring Spencer." I chuckle a little and she joins in.

"I'd say I'd bring Kyla but the gay scene isn't her thing." I get up and take our, both now empty, cups to the sink. "Although, her boyfriend might be up for it." I shoot her a grin and she laughs. I walk back to the counter and take my place again. "I do have another friend though, who might enjoy it, her name's Madison."


	6. Foundations

**Short chapter. Sorry. Thanks for the reviews, people.**

**Ch 6: Foundations.**

"So, you basically said Madison is gay and that she's just come out of a relationship?" I nod, nothing wrong with that statement it's all true. Except the gay part. "And you gave Steph the false hope of a budding relationship?" Oh, yeah, didn't think about that. "You never change, do you?" Should I smile cutely now? I will.

"The girl has taste. Plus, she looks good; she won't have any problems finding someone else." Where are my cookies? I ordered them, like, half an hour ago.

We had breakfast, after Kyla basically set the kitchen alight, and spent the rest of the morning (afternoon, whatever) talking about stupid topics and what celebrity has had the most work done. By 3 I was literally itching to be with Spencer alone and by half-past I was dragging her out to my car for some time with her. So, here we are. In some random coffee house. It's weird actually, I don't usually come to these types of places but I like it.

"You only say that because she was interested in you." Obviously, what's not to like?

"Like I said, she has taste." I smile before drinking some of the caramel laced beverage and watch as Spencer tilts her head, eyes shining and lips curling delicately. Oh, I'm totally whipped. If she told me to jump, right here, I'd ask how high.

"You really haven't changed much have you, Davies?" Yeah, I've grown more mature. Well, except for my Spongebob weekends but that's all Kyla's fault. I shrug, not really sure how she wants me to answer that.

"Is that a good thing?" She nods. I smile. We're all happy people. "Good." Her nimble fingers fold the napkin in front of her into several shapes until she settles on simply scrunching it up into a little ball and letting it drop onto the table.

"We should do this again."

"Yeah." I'm smiling like an idiot and I really don't care, she always said she liked my smile so she can't complain. "But not anytime from Wednesday to Saturday." My smile fades as her face falters.

"Why?" Hey, we still have Monday and Tuesday! Don't look so upset, it makes my stomach flip.

"I have to go to New York. One of the bands has the chance to make themselves huge. I have to go and read over the contract and whatever else. I feel like I've only just come back, I was in San Francisco last month." She just nods and licks her bottom lip. I focus my attention away from her mouth because that was way too tempting.

"Oh."

Before I can even open my mouth a brunette is walking my way. Heels way up her ass, Gucci sunglasses on her head, Prada handbag swinging from her arm and a smirk on her red-glossed lips.

Oh. Shit. I know her.

The rich-bitch gives Spencer the once over and turns her attention to me, Spencer is worth at least a three over. How rude.

"Hey Ashley." I smile at her and try to act like I remember her name. Spencer's staring her down, oh she's jealous, but that's not good for me. I must have paused for ages 'cause her lips are moving again and she's helped herself to the chair next to me. I glance at Spencer once and she's avoiding me. Damn it.

"Hey."

"It's Marissa." Seriously? I thought she was just a character on TV. "You didn't call." I shoot another desperate glance at Spencer and my new guest catches it. "Who's this?"

"She's Spencer." I pause as my little blonde beauty finally looks up and gives Marissa, such a cool name, a tight smile.

"Oh." She directs her gaze to Spencer and if thoughts could be seen, I'm pretty damn sure the rich girl would be on the floor. I've told you, her eyes are powerful. "Be careful of this one Spencer. She knows her way around a woman's body but not her way around a phonebook." Ouch, rude, I can find my way around a phonebook just fine thank you. I just didn't like you.

"Right. Well, I'm going to get another drink." She goes to stand up and I grab her hand. I've only just got her back and I'm not losing her again, not over some over-priced plastic doll.

"It was nice seeing you again, Mariah."

"Marissa."

"Yeah, okay, whatever." Get the message, get the message!

Get.

The.

Freaking.

Message.

She gets it and she's gone. And my hand is still on Spencer's, which she immediately removes.Her blue eyes are watching the heels click away furiously. "Spence?"

"I don't know if I can do this." Shut up, yes you can.

"Spencer." I don't care if I sound like I'm about to cry.

"I mean, really, you have this life now. Women and men lusting after you, flying to different states every other month and God knows what else." She's reaching into her bag and pulling out her purse. No, that means she wants to leave. "I can't compete with that. I don't fit in with your fast-paced life anymore." I'm frozen to the spot and all I can do is watch as she puts some money on the table. It's like when we broke up all over again, she's taking the lead and all I can do is freeze up and watch her leave.

"Don't say that. You don't need to fit into my life, Spence, you are my life." I'll beg if I have to.

"We're different people now, everything's changed." She's standing up and putting her bag over her shoulder.

I'm stood up with her now and if I have to make a scene I will, I grasp her hands between mine because she's not leaving. Not now.

"Don't go. You said it yourself I haven't changed all that much and neither have you. You want coffee? I'll buy you Starbucks. You want commitment? I'll marry you. You want time to think? I'll pause the world. Spencer, tell me, whatever it is; I'll do it."

I'll. Buy. You. Starbucks?

Wow, well done Davies, way to win a girl over.

"It's not that simple." She pulls her hands away and I feel lost.

"Then make it simple. Don't over complicate things, Spence. Stop reading so much into it and just go with what you feel is right." I'm close to her, so close, I can taste the coffee on her lips and the tainted poison of her fear seeping through.

"I need you. You're the only person who can put up with me at four in the morning when I have urges for chocolate. You're the only one that, when I hold, I feel like I have a reason to be here. You think you don't fit it with my life? I'll give it up tomorrow, all you need to do is ask."

Oh crap. She's crying, I didn't mean to make her cry.

"Please, just tell me now what it is you want and I'll do it. If you want me to walk away I will. If you want me to kiss you then don't doubt I'll ever stop." I see the flicker of a smile on her lips and I know I'm getting my Spencer back. She never did suit tears.

"You know Kyla told me you were a mess for ages after everything." The girl is random, amazingly gorgeous, but random as hell. "She told me if I ever hurt you again, she would hunt me down and make sure I knew what it was to be scorned by a Davies sister.." Her hand cups my face and she sends me one of the famous Carlin smiles. "But I already know that feeling. I also knew the feeling of love from a Davies sister and it was so intense it scared me."

Yep, she's breaking up with me.

"But I'm not scared anymore."

Or not?

"You don't have to be." Yeah, absolutely no idea where this is going.

"Anyway, there's only one thing I want from you today." I raise an eyebrow and she drags me forward by my jacket. Damn, her lips are so close. Just one tiny, little, inch and I can kiss her. I lean forwards but she pulls her head back a little bit and bites her lips in that seductive way. I'd hate it if I wasn't so confused as to where this was going.

"What do you want?" I glance around the coffee shop. It's not like in the movies and everyone is staring, waiting for you to kiss, before standing up and applauding the happy ending. Most are either in mid-conversation and have no idea what is going on or reading a newspaper from last week.

"Cookies." She lets go of me and sways over to the counter and though she is turned away from me I can tell she has that grin on her face. I do my thing and pout before following her, because she's always going to be my leader and I'm always going to be behind her.

_Oh, that could be taken so dirty._

She's walking back to me now, prize in her hand and one dangling not-so-gracefully from her mouth. She reaches out her free hand and grabs mine before pulling me out of the store and onto the street. I'm still in a confused state and I finally pull away, just a little bit and get her attention.

"So, Spence..." I rub the back of my neck and she simply stares at me, munching on that infernal chocolate cookie. "What's going on between us?" She chews thoughtfully, her eyes narrowed as she let situations float through her pretty little head.

"How about I sleep again tonight? We can work it out from there." No, I wanna work it out now! Maybe Kyla's right, maybe I am childish. "Cookie?" She breaks a bit off and I must have nodded because she's feeding me the tasty morsel and her fingers are tracing my lips. I swallow it and her fingers are still making patterns on my mouth. She leans up and kisses my cheek.

"So, how about we go to your place and pick up some things?"

Did I mention she always wins?


	7. Hot Blooded

**Lol, wrote this right after chapter 6. Like an hour later. So, here you go.**

**Ch. 7: Hot Blooded**

"Camping."

"Marshmallows."

"Fire."

"Hot."

"Chocolate."

"Body Paint."

"_Ashley!" _

"Spencer?"

Meh, what did I do?

She wanted to play this silly word game. See, she says one word and I say the first thing that comes to mind. Don't ask, we got bored.

What else can I say to chocolate? The look on her face is kind of telling me there are _many _things I could have said. But body paint is the best, dosen't taste all that chocolatey but it's pretty good fun. I give her my sweetest, most practiced, smile in the whole entire world. Her eyebrow is still raised.

We're back in my bed, she's fully stretched out, her head in my lap and her feet dangling somewhere over the side of my bed. I'm playing with her hair, I was attempting to do something with it and then I realised a vital fact.

I didn't know how to do other peoples hair. Mine, I'm great at, no problem. Other peoples? Yeah, not happening.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I frown. That's not a word, but I figure she has gotten bored. She looks amazing laid there, and I don't mean because of the position, she just looks peaceful and carefree. Not like last night when she stayed, then she looked full of conflict and something else. Now, she just looks happy.

"I have to go to the studio to finish the last three tracks for the band I'm going to the 'Big Apple' with." She shifts slightly and I tilt my head so I can see her.

"Will you be there late?" I nod. That's a certainty.

The band, although amazingly talented, do not get on at all. Jason, the drummer, has decided that he dosen't like the way the music flows in the song _'Goodbye' _and took it into his own hands to change it. That then caused Michelle, the singer, to have a right old tantrum and storm out; followed quickly by her fuck buddy Ryan. Poor old Mark, the bass player, is generally too clueless to figure out what is going on and I'm the one who gets them all back together and doing what they do best. Play music.

The strange thing is, they have all been friends since, like, kindergarten and all of a sudden as soon as I mention a real chance for them in New York, the gloves are off and the bitchy fights begin. Fame does that to you and it's still not set in stone.

"So, dinner is out of the question?"

"Like a date dinner? Or like a you're-going-to-New-York-and-I-don't-want-you-screwing-anyone-else dinner?" There is a difference. They sound the same, almost, but they are so not. You see, the first one means I have to be all romantic, flirty, generous, and complimentary all night and yet still remain clueless on if I'm going to get laid. The second means I do all those things but totally get laid because she wants to prove how I belong to her and no-one else. See, Davies logic trumps everything.

"I guess a date." She sounds nervous. I like it when she's like that and I run my fingers through her hair. "Or maybe the second, I mean..." Now she sounds scared.

"Trust me enough, Spence, to know I won't sleep with anyone while I'm there." And I really wont. Scouts honor. Wait, what's the female scouts? Scoutettes? Scoutees? Whatever.

"Okay." Yeah, the wavering in her voice and the uncertain tone it holds dosen't do much for me.

"I promise. Even if I'm not yours I'm going to wait." That made no sense.

"You are mine." Possessive Spencer is one of my favorites. "Well, you are after our first official date." And kiss. I better get a kiss at some stage. She sits up and faces me, crossing her legs and doing that head tilt. I hope I don't need my stomach, or heart, too much since they are both now flipping around and do the waltz inside my body. All because of that head tilt.

"Why do we have to wait? How about we get together tonight?" I wiggle my eyebrows and make sure my chest is enhanced a little as a hint. She laughs gently and shakes her head, some blonde hair falls gracefully around her cheeks. "It'll be fun." That's a damn promise.

"I don't want it to be fun. I want it to be perfect. The situation and the moment, a new start for us. The past was amazing but I want something new with the two of us." We are still talking about sex, right? Because that is what I was hinting at. I'm pretty sure I made that clear with the wiggling and the jiggling.

"Okay." No, she wasn't talking about sex. I'm such a bad person.

"So, tomorrow?" I shake my head and sigh. "Oh."

"It's just, even if I go in early, not that they will be there, I'm pretty sure I won't get out until at least 10 at night. They're real divas, seriously, and all the work that we're putting into it is taking a little longer than we thought." Which is true, the damn helpers in the studio have just graduated from College and have _no idea _on what happens behind those doors. It drives me crazy. Kyla has it lucky, all she does is line up gigs and book photo shoots. I mean, yeah, she also manages the money though and all the legal things that I can never be bothered with, but still, I have it hard.

"It's okay." No it's not. "Another time, maybe?"

"Tuesday?" Not really a good idea since I need to be up at, like, five the following morning. She's so worth it though.

"I can't. I'm having dinner with my boss and his wife, I'm pretty sure he's bringing his son along too." Yeah, that what I needed to hear. "It's been planned for ages and I can't pass it up really. I want to be able to be self-employed but I need his references and some decent experience, so I need to go." I raise an eyebrow, I never actually asked what she does.

"What is it you do now then?"

"It's like therapy, minus the intrusion and annoyance, plus it's for kids. Teenagers, if you want to get technical. I mean, I always wanted to aspire to be more like my dad didn't I?" I nod and just let her continue, because I know she will. "It's generally their parents who send them and I get paid for listening to a 17 year old girl, who dosen't actually have any problems, she just has crap parents." I laugh a little at her bluntness and reach to my side to get the beer I've been craving. Not to say Spencer is bad company, I just refused to move because she was laid on me. She's frowning and I take that as my cue to take a drink and let her continue further. "I work under a company name though, I don't like it. It's like helping the youth and it's great, but I don't want to be under people for the rest of my life, you know?"

Don't. Take. That. The. Wrong. Way.

Too late. I laughed.

"_Ashley!" _

"Spencer?"

"How can you be so sexy but so annoying all at the same time?" I shrug. It's a gift, I'm pretty sure I inherited it from my dad. From all the rumors and stories anyway. She leans her head onto my shoulder, no doubt tired with me, and I let my hand linger a second longer on her thigh.

"Does your mom still know you're gay then? Or did she set up this little rendezvous with your boss and his son?" I feel her smile, I made her smile, all is good in the world.

"His wife will be there you know." I shrug and she lifts her head, eyes sparkling and lips curling over her words. "Yeah, she knows though. She ignores it but I think her walking into my apartment to find me in a fairly compromising position with some woman all ideas of me being straight shot right out of the window."

I'm pretty sure I stopped listening after the word 'position'. Obviously, she has had to have slept with other people and she's bound to have had a relationship but that sentence still scared the life out of me and I don't know why. I guess it's because when we were younger I always whispered to her that I would be her 'first and her last female lover'. I force her a smile and tell myself I will always be her first and I will definatly be her last, there will be no other.

"I bet you gave her a near heart attack. God, I wish I could have seen her face." Because, frankly, it would have been hilarious.

"Think of the time when she walked in on us but double it because we were naked and in the living room. It was the first thing she saw when she walked in." I like the part with the naked Spencer, just hate the part with Paula and the nameless other woman.

"Lovely." I don't actually know what to say.

"Her and my dad divorced, by the way." What?! Mr. C was the best damn man on this whole planet. Wait, nevermind, he's better off without the blonde devil. "She's trying something with some doctor and my dad is living alone." Poor Mr. C. Must remember to drop some flowers off at his house, or maybe not, he's a man. I'll drop off a football or something.

"Bet that wasn't easy for you." Afterall, they were the Brady's.

"It was hard, but they get on so well now they are not together. It's like they are best friends or something and my dad smiles so much more, so does my mom." I shiver involuntary, I didn't know evil could smile.

"So you're still close to them?" She nods and I'm envious. I haven't heard from my _mom,_ ew nasty word, in about eight months and since my dad died I haven't been hearing from him a whole lot.

"And Glenn is less of an ass." Impossible! That's like saying Madison isn't a bitch or I'm a virgin. "He's settled." I see a glaze go past her eyes and I know who she is thinking about. Clay. He'd probably be a millionaire by now.

"Sounds like the Brady's did well for themselves." I smile, I can't help it and she returns it.

We're so having a moment.

"I'll miss you when you go New York, even if it is for a few days."

"We've only just gotten to know each other again." Which is true, it's not even been 48 hours yet and I'm working hard on making us official.

"I've missed you this whole time we've been apart." Can't argue with that, I've missed her too. "I'm sure a few more days wont hurt." Okay, I _know _there's something behind that sentence. It's the working out part I have trouble with.

"I'm sure it wont." I settle down onto my bed and stretch out, my mind still reeling with the idea that Spencer is in my bed for a second night. And we're still dressed. I do a little dance in my head for not being forward, pushy or perverted.

"How about we have that date when you come back?" Yeah, I like that. Even if it is basically a week away.

"Sure."

"Ash?" I look at her and she leans closer to me.

_Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss! _

No, she's stopped. Why has she stopped? That's just plain rude and uncalled for. She smiles softly and places a light kiss at the end of my nose.

My nose?

What about my lips? Or my neck? Or my...

Oh.

It was my lips this time.

I smile into the kiss and wrap my arms around her body, letting her deepen it and swallowing the low moan that flows from the back of her throat. She dosen't waste time in reacquainting our tongues and she's literally on top of me now, not that I can complain, my heads swimming and I'm overloaded with the sweet taste of Spencer and the distinct smell of her perfume. She pulls away, a little too soon I might add. Come on, who needs to breathe?

"I'm not going a week without doing that." She rests her forehead against mine and closes her eyes. I stroke the small of her back with my fingertips and remember the feel of her skin, momenterially amazed at how well we fit together, even now.

"So, lets do it again and catch up on what we lost." She laughs. I wasn't kidding. I silence her laugh with my lips and spend many minutes making sure she dosen't laugh at my suggestions again. It'd be rude if I didn't love her laugh.

See, this time; I won.


	8. Bleeding Love

**Just a quick thing; I freaked out on the 3B promo trailer. And I'm not kidding, it was quite scary.**

**Ch. 6: Bleeding Love**

Ugh, I hate flying.

Seriously. If God intended us to fly he would have given us wings, and not in the form of Red Bull or other energy drinks.

I'm on the plane now, two hours too late I might add, and I have Mark blaring some god awful music out of his iPod behind me and the rest of the band are not talking. I'm never doing this again.

Everything was going fine, up until the deal fell through and everything went into meltdown. I tried to tell them that everything would be fine and we would just have to wait until something better came along, you know make them feel good?

They decided to call it quits on the band and go their separate ways. It's weird to see something like that happen. Before I could see the cracks, as an outsider, and I could see the inevitable (and overdue) fall out - but it was still a shock to see them scream at one another. Especially Mark, he dosen't usually raise his voice.

So, now, I'm sat in a cramped area with fighting band members, who are hung-over, and still waiting for my drink to come. I mean, really, how hard is it to make a glass of coke? Just give me the can if you're so busy, woman!

I may have to fire her.

Kyla said we should get on board with this whole private jet thing because, you know, all the cool rock stars have them. I hasten to add, we're not rock-stars, we're a record company. Anyway, she won and we're now flying RD back to LA. RD standing for my fathers initials, cause I'm cute like that. Apparently the pilot says we should be landing in around fifteen minutes and we all need to buckle up and hold on for dear life.

Yeah. I'm going to fire him, too.

Kyla thinks he is hilarious and he only got the job because his son was screwing Madison. I mean, you would think thirty-five years of aircraft flying the guy would learn that saying things like _'hold onto your butts, were landing.' _is not funny to some poor woman scared shitless of flying. Like the time 'Valarie', our biggest solo diva at the time, decided to treat us to a trip to the Caribbean after winning some award for best Newcomer.

She was such a generous and thoughtful girl until she realised she could get free cocaine and booze on demand, the woman puts Lindsay Lohan to shame and we had to drop her. Anyway, she flew us all out there for two weeks and it turns out Madison hates flying. That little tidbit of information I found out fifteen minute prior to lift off and she was giving CPR to a brown paper bag.

Remember she only came because she's with the pilot's son. Only at that time she was in the dying throes of a relationship with him and totally hitting on a backing dancer for Valarie. He was cute but married with three kids, he didn't speak a word of English so Madison didn't get the message he wasn't interested until he literally thrust his wedding ring at her and his kids birth certificates. It would have been funny if it wasn't for her 4 inch heels snapping when the wife of said dancer chased her.

So, anyway, Madison is clenching her ass cheeks and breaking out in a sweat, which leaves me trying very hard not to laugh and Kyla in full on mothering mode. Then the pilot goes and says, right down the speaker.

_"I hope you said goodbye to the ones you love, ladies. We're about to hit some turbulence."_

Vomit. Everywhere.

Poor Madison, she only got over that ordeal because some waiter called Blake hit on her and we didn't see her for 48 or so hours.

I sigh lightly, a small smile on my face at the memory of that vacation, and take my cell out of my bag. Theres a picture I took of Spencer asleep on the front screen, she looks adorable and I would like to point out; she's fully dressed. It was on Sunday night I took it and I haven't seen her since the morning after, which sucks big time because it is the early hours of Monday morning now and it adds up to I haven't seen her for a full week. We've talked everyday and I quickly read over the texts we've sent each other, she still writes in full words and she's got me doing it too. I glance at one and let the smile on my face grow a little.

_'I miss you more. You have no idea at all Ashley. We still haven't been on our first date and I still feel like we have been in a relationship for years and years, when really I've only just gotten back into contact with you. Come back to LA soon and hold me, okay?' _

We don't put those little kisses on our texts nor do we put 'I love you' - because we don't need some technology to tell one another that we care. I lean back as the plane dips and I hold my breath.

I hate landing.

----

"Bitch, get off of my bag!" I am so totally ready to pounce on the red head. Even with my little private jet we still have to do the whole security checks and whatever else, which at two-thirty in the morning is not fun. Plus the time difference sucks ass, it might be two-thirty here, but it should be five thirty in New York, where I've been living for the past week.

So here I am, freezing my ass off, giving a death glare to some poor woman and bordering on collapsing with exhaustion. She quickly checks the tag and notices it's mine before shooting me an apologetic look and scuttling off back under her rock. I feel a hand on my arm and find myself face to face with a very handsome looking Mark.

Okay, so I didn't mention how amazingly good looking he is did I?

He's around Aiden's height and bronzed all over. His dark shabby hair, chiseled jaw and dark roaming eyes make him the perfect candidate for any modeling agency in the world. Not to mention he's a true gentlemen and a hit with every heterosexual woman in America. The white shirt he's wearing is totally picking up his toned stomach and making his skin look more darker than it already is.

Yeah, he is gorgeous and no I haven't slept with him.

"Want some help, Davies?" I shake my head and walk through security. I don't understand why I have to do that, it's not like I have a gun stuffed down my G-String and bags of Cocaine in my bra, I'm pretty sure the security men just like feeling me up.

"No, I'm fine thank you." I reach for my bag and his hand covers mine. Wow, his hands are huge! Like, I could fit two of mine into one of his. You know what they say about men with big hands don't you?

They wear big gloves.

"I can help you if you want. I mean my car is parked near yours, I don't mind." He looks at me and I continue to shake my head. If he gives me a headache I'm so not helping him with his next bands album. "We could, you know, go and get a coffee then. You can't drive when you're so tired can you?"

My car is a block away and it's so early in the morning I'm pretty sure the freezing air will slap me awake on the walk there. He's smiling at me, his perfect teeth and eyes lighting up. Wait a hula-dancing minute! He's hitting on me. Ew, I'm his boss. Kinda.

"No, see, I don't live far away." Forty minutes isn't too far. "And I just want to get home and get some sleep." And to call Spencer at this un-Godly hour.

"Are you sure?" Let go of my hand, moron.

"Yeah." I fake a yawn and yank my hand out of his, bringing them above my head. "Hey, shouldn't you be helping your friends anyway?" Say yes.

"No." Bastard. "I think we all need some space after being rejected." Twice in the same week, that must suck. "I think I'll just head home. I'll walk to your car with you."

We walk to the cars in relative silence. He keeps sneaking glances at me and I'd be flattered if it wasn't for the nagging feeling in my stomach that by walking with this man I was, in some way, cheating on Spencer. I look at the floor as I walk, so I don't have to catch him looking, and wonder what she's doing at the moment. Probably sleeping if she's clever, afterall she does have work tomorrow.

The only day I have off and she's working. I might just go to the studio for the hell of it, it's not like I have anything else to do and I'm pretty sure she wouldnt be impressed if I walked into her office in my underwear while some teenager is sobbing about being 'lost in a world that dosen't understand', or something.

We say our goodbyes and part ways, not without Mark getting a good old look at my freezing chest and a parting kiss on the cheek. Men. I literally bask in the warmth of my car once I've started it up and set the heaters on full. I'm fully awake now and the images of Spencer are assaulting me left, right and centre - that helps keep me awake. I grab my phone again and quickly jab in some keys, make it coherent and send the text to a sleeping blonde. Just as quickly as it says a text has been set my phones ringing and I've jumped several feet into the air.

Remember how to breathe. 1, 2, 3, 4 and repeat. Jesus on a stick, phones are not meant to scare people, they are meant to inform people. I glance at the ID and see the name SPENCER flashing at me in big, bold letters. Figures, she's the only one that can kill me without being in the room. Oh, it's still ringing.

"Hello?" Why did I question that? I know it's her.

"I've missed your voice." Aw, I love her even more. "Have you just landed?"

"Yeah." I recline back slightly in my car seat, it's not like I need to be anywhere soon. "We had to take off a little later than planned, storm clouds or something."

"I heard about that. They thought it would be a big one but it went straight over New York." I raise an eyebrow, I'm pretty sure she's going to say something else. "I was worried." God, I'm good.

"Why? You know I'm too chicken shit to go in a plane if there's a storm."

"But you could have been in the air when it came. I've been sat at the phone all night." She lets out a small chuckle and I smile, my first genuine one in a week. "Or, you could have just been setting off and been hit by lightening."

"But I wasn't in the air, that's why we set off late."

"But you could have been! I heard about it and made Kyla look after me." I hear some shuffling and then everything goes quiet.

"Spence?"

"No, it's Kyla. Why didn't you call? Honestly, Ash, I was so worried. I thought the plane might have gone down. You know, New York has phones and you could have call -" Some more noise met by silence again.

"Hi, it's me again." They've so had coffee or something. "So, are you going straight home? You must be tired." I hear some more noises in the background and suddenly have an image of Spencer sat on Kyla to stop her using the phone.

"That was my plan."

"Kyla, get off of my leg! You can talk to her in a minute." See, this is why I don't always like talking on the phone. Way too informal and you miss all the facial expressions.

_"I don't want to talk to her in a minute. I want to talk now." _Aww.

"She wont change in a minute. She'll still be the same Ashley, so shut up and wait a second."

_"This is Ash, Spencer. When does she ever stay the same?"_

Oh, I'm so hitting her with the bag I bought her.

"How about I just phone you in the morning?" Not that I want to leave this conversation, or anything.

"Uh, I guess."

"You know I'd love to stay on the phone with you but I really need to get home." I distinctively hear a _'you so have her whipped.' _in the background and make a mental note to kill Kyla.

"Alright. Um, Ash?" I recline my seat up and get ready to start driving home, to a bed, or a bath, both are looking very tempting.

"Yeah?" Theres a long pause and I mean long, the kind of pause that has you checking your phone to see if it's died or shifting in your seat to try and get a better signal.

"I love you." She hangs up before I can even reply. She's very sneaky that Spencer Carlin and that's why she is mine and no-one else's.

--

I wander into my apartment, locking the door and carelessly throwing my keys in what I feel is the right direction of the fruit bowl. Except, it's not really a fruit bowl. It's full of ignored letters, keys and, for some reason, a wrapped condom. Probably a present from the pervert in the apartment below.

I quickly go to my sister's bedroom, hoping and praying Aiden isn't here; because that is not a sight I need to see. I open the door slightly and smile, she's asleep. I walk over to the bed and tuck her leg back under the covers and she lets out a low moan before shifting very quickly for a sleeping person onto her stomach and faces away from me. Ignorant or what? I shake my head and refuse to give her a kiss on the cheek and it's only until I'm out of the door that it finally hits me.

Kyla was with Spencer.

Kyla is in her bedroom.

Spencer is...

I go to my room and don't even try to hide the grin that's on my face. It's dark but I can make out a distinctively Spencer shaped lump on my bed, she turns to the light and on the half-lit part of her face I see her eyes scrunch up.

"You're back." Oh, I think I've just died again. She has that just woken up voice and it's _adorable._

"Yeah." I quickly shut my door and make my way over to my bed, it's not hard, it's right as you walk in. It's so I could have better access to it when I was tired, drunk or in the process of getting laid. This, soon, will only be with the blonde in my bed from now on. Wait, that leaves brunettes and red-heads.

She will be the only woman in my bed from now until the end of time.

Hey, I should have that printed and put on the wall with an arrow pointing to the side Spencer always sleeps on, that would look so cool.

"Hm, are you going to keep your promise?" My shoes and clothes have been shed, in favour of some boxers, and a beater in the time it took her to say that sentence. She's so cute when she's half-asleep, I wonder if I could keep her like this. Yeah, sex wouldn't be very entertaining but I'd be amused.

"What would that be?"

"To hold me when you got back."

Do you really need to ask if I hesitated to jump into bed and wrap my arms around her?

No. Didn't think so.


	9. The First Of Me

Seriously, I need to know this.

How long does it take to dry your hair, put on some clothes (underwear isn't always a necessity), throw on some make-up and leave for a party?

Me? It takes me around forty-five minutes.

Spencer? One and a half freaking hours. One and a half. Did you get that? We started at the same time and I've been sat on the couch for forty-five minutes. I could have got changed again in that amount of time and she still wouldn't have been ready.

Ugh.

And you know the most stupid thing about this whole damn thing? We're not even going anywhere exciting.

I'm pretty sure you're slightly confused, so I'm going to clarify a few things. I have the freakin' time to tell you my life story with the time Spencer is taking. Honestly, if there was an award for taking the longest time to straighten hair; she would get it hands down.

Okay, so me and Spence, we got together. We've been together for a year, but unlike last time, when it all went tits in the air, we're taking things slow. I mean, it's been a year almost and we haven't even thought about moving in together. No, I just waste petrol driving her all over instead.

Tonight, according to Spencer, is something special. Aiden proposed to my sister, after asking me, which was totally awesome, and she said yes. Now they are having a pre-engagement party, party. Does that make sense? I mean this is Kyla. The woman has three birthdays. The day before her actual birthday, the day of her birthday and the day after her birthday. Do you have any idea how expensive that is?

Anyway. This is a party, before the _actual _engagement party. Don't ask. I didn't.

"Baby, where are my shoes?" I hate when my heart skips a few beats as soon as I hear her speak. Really, I do. It reminds me on every beat that I am under her spell.

"How would I know? Maybe they got up and left." She wanders into the room. Damn she looks good. She should wear that skirt more often.

"Why would they do that?" She's so humoring me. Cute.

"Because you're taking so long they probably decided to meet us there." Damn it! She threw a pillow at me. Why do people do that? Kyla and her must have some sort of code. Everytime I say something I get a pillow thrown at me and for a second my life flashes before my eyes. Or a naked Spencer. One of the two.

"I'm not taking long. I would have been done ages ago if you didn't sneak up on me in the shower." What? I'm only human.

"You didn't complain."

"I couldn't really. You forced yourself onto me." Theres a hint of a smirk on her lips. That means I'm not in trouble.

"I forced nothing. It was surprise sex for the irresistible. It's all the rage, don't you know?"

"You're so lame. Help me find my shoes."

"No."

"Help me find them or you won't be getting any until you're birthday." She wouldn't. Oh, she raised her eyebrow. She so would.

"Okay. I'll look in the bedroom."

---

"Ash, we can't. Not here." Yes we can and we will. I'm gonna continue my assault on her neck, because since we're forty minutes late we might as well have a good excuse. Not, _'sorry we're late Spencer took ages getting ready and then attacked me on the bed which made us lose track of time.'_

Why is she pushing me away? That should be illegal. I have just half-climbed over the centre of the car to pleasure you.

"What?"

"We're in Aiden's driveway. We can't." Like he hasn't done things in this driveway before. Wait, images. _Ew. _

"But I don't want to go anyway. I have a much better idea on how to spend my Saturday nights." I lean in again, because I can see in her eyes she's conflicted on what to do, but she puts her fingers on my lips. Unfair!

"She's your sister. Now get your cute ass moving and get out of the car."

"No. She's a half-sister anyway, it means I can slack sometimes." I will use the pout if I have to.

"Ashley." She used my full name! And she's not horny. Which means she's getting frustrated with me and not in the good way.

"What did I do?"

"We'll stay for a few hours and then leave, okay?" I like Spencer when she reasons with me. It makes me feel like I've won. Which I hardly ever do anymore.

"And then we can continue this?"

"You have the mind of a teenage boy. Did you know that?" I nod. She tells me this a lot. "Come on."

I get out of the car, not because I want to; no. Because I do anything she asks me. I put on a front that I haven't gone soft with Ms. Carlin but I'll tell you this now, I have. I was like rock hard chocolate before and now she's melted me and I'm just a pile of goo. She knows it and I know it. Unfortunately, I think everyone knows it. Even with my front.

She could tell me to climb the highest mountain, run the longest race, swim the deepest ocean and I would do any in a heartbeat. She knows that but she never asks me to do those things. Thank God. I don't do climbing, running, swimming or any form of hard activity well. Unless it's sex, or shopping. I master in both of those.

"Ash, you okay?" I look at her and those baby blues, the ones I love so much, are directed at me.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about things." I take her outstretched hand and lace our fingers together, a move I know she loves.

"About what?" _How lucky I am to have you. How much I love you. How I would die without you telling me what to do because I live to hear your voice. _

"Chocolate." She giggles. She only ever does that when she knows I'm bending the truth so I don't look soft. The woman knows I am head over heels for her. I wouldn't sit through the film _Titanic _four times if I didn't. That's almost twelve hours of Spencer and Kyla crying, over two days. Ugh, that memory is one I don't need to relive. Honestly, why watch it four times in two days? The ending wont change. The boat still sinks and the guy still dies cause the woman is still too selfish to share the door with him. Psh, it's a good job I love her and sort of like Kyla.

"What about chocolate?" She opens the door and we walk in. Kyla should be more uptight on letting people into her house. Then again, I wouldn't be too bothered. The girl knows yoga and her fiancée is like King Kong's' trainer.

"I love it so, so much. I couldn't be without it." She shoots me a bemused look and smiles at me, a glint is in her eye and I wait for the sarcastic remark.

"I love you, too." She kisses me and walks off. All I can do is smile and follow, because that's all I ever know what to do with her.

I know. You don't need to tell me. I've only just come to terms with it myself.

I'm Spencer-whipped within an inch of my life.

---

"I _looooove _this song, Ash!" Who the hell gave my sister vodka? I'll beat their ass. You know how I know she's had vodka? Cause she's leaning on me like I'm strong and telling me over and over again how much she loves me. That only ever happens when she's had that Russian drink. How I hate the Russians right now.

"Then go dance."

"No, no, I can't do that." Her head flops to the side as she looks at me and she vaguely reminds me of those bobbing heads in the back of car windows. You know? The ones you think are funny until they get annoying and you throw them away. Yeah, she reminds me of those.

"Why?"

"Because I'm too dance to drunk." I'd laugh at that if her face wasn't so serious. "Can I tell you a secret?" Ugh, if this is like the time she told me the secret about doing something to a boyfriend in the cinema I don't want to know.

"Only if it will amuse me." She leans into me and presses her lips against my ear. Good job she doesn't slobber when she's drunk, or I'd have to beat her upside the head. Heh. I love that saying.

"You and Spencer make the most perfect couple, like, ever."

That's so not a secret. Everyone knows that.

"I know."

"No, Ash, you don't. You're too close to see it. But I can see it. The way she looks at you and smiles when you say something. You don't see it because you don't have to, because she will always be yours. But I can see it as you're sister. She hangs on your every word."

She pulls back and looks at me. I'm glad we're sitting down because she's swaying and I'm about to hear something nice, from my sister.

"It's like -" She waves her hand around, spilling a bit of her drink. Good, that's less toxins she's going to put in her body. "- You have this untouchable relationship. This amazing, passionate, beautiful relationship. You love each other so, so, so, so much. I mean I love Aiden - but you two?" She gives me a look and I think she's lost track on where she is going. "Don't lose her again Ashley, neither of you should have your hearts broken. You two are meant to be. Soul mates and all that jazz." She's laughing now so I assume she said something funny. I stopped listening after she said that me and Spence are meant to be.

Because that's the most sense my sister has said to me all night.

And I actually love her a little more for it.

"Thank you, Ky."

"You're always gonna be my sister. I'm always gonna look out for you. Cause I know you'll do the same for me." True, I nearly killed Aiden at first when he suggested he was going to propose to her. It wasn't my fault; I just assumed he had gotten her pregnant. After a few slaps with a spatula I gave in and he told me some things, like he loved her and whatever. It was quite cute. I still find it funny he nearly cried when I hit him with a kitchen utensil.

I look at that little sister of mine. Her eyes are closing and I get up from the couch and head towards the kitchen, to get her a glass of water for when she comes around again. I've mentioned a lot how I can't live without Spencer, but in all honesty, I'd be completely lost also if Kyla left.

"I've missed you." Two arms wrap around my waist as I get a bottle of water from the fridge and by the way my body reacts, I know it's her.

"I didn't go anywhere. You were the one who wandered off." I turn around after placing the bottle on the counter and see my little blonde has the goofiest grin on her face. She's up to something. "What?"

"Nothing." She hugs me and rests her head on my shoulder. Aw, my baby is getting tired. Wait, no, she can't get tired. What about continuing what we were doing? "I was talking to Kyla earlier."

"Really? What did she want?" I already know. I've had that conversation.

"She said we are a modern day Juliet and Juliet, or something similar. Plus, she added that if I hurt you she would hunt me down." She pulls back and looks at me. "You're sister is a scary drunk." Yes, that is very true. There was one time she threatened the pizza man because he put olives on her pizza; Kyla Woods does not do olives. The poor guy nearly pissed his pants. I don't know why. Kyla could hardly stand up and slurred half her words. I would have just laughed.

"Yeah, I know."

"Ashley." What is it with people and my full first name? At least they don't say Ashley-Marie. Then I know I am in trouble.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we'll be together, forever?" I hate this question. She knows I hate this question. Why does she choose the time that my body is pressed between her and a counter to ask me?

"Do you?" Good comeback. Davies is back in the game with ten points.

"I asked you first." She stole my points!

"I can't predict forever." Her face drops a little and I know I have to save myself. "But I know you're stuck with me for as long as possible."

"Really?" She smiles and I get my points back. Two bonus because I know I'm heading in the right direction for a fun night.

"There's no such thing as forever, Spencer. There is such thing as right now and I plan on spending that with you, okay?" Oh, please let that have sounded as cheesy in my head as it did coming out of my mouth. Spencer likes cheesy, it makes her smile.

"Good." She kisses me and tightens her hold on me. I pretty much belong to her, it's a given. "Go take that water to your sister and I'll put some tablets next to her bed for tomorrow."

"Okay." See, I didn't even argue.

W-h-i-p-p-e-d.

"And then we can go home."

L-u-c-k-y.

Yes, I started singing the Kylie song in my mind.

I take the water to my sister, give instructions to Aiden to look after her and go and find Spencer.

I know I've changed a little but that's for the greater good. I've gone as far as I can with my career, I know my sister is in a safe place, I'm in a committed relationship that dosen't include a bottle of random alcohol and I'm pretty sure things can only go up from here.

Well, until I leave the milk carton out at Spencer's house and we have an argument.

Or, I tell her she is a big child for watching a Disney cartoon.

Or, she tells me I work too long hours at the studio.

Because I'm still the same old Ashley that Spencer has to look after and tell what to do, that will never change. I'm always going to frustrate the blonde, have her walk away from me, have her tell me that I need to grow up but we always come back together.

She's walking towards me with a big grin on her face and I know what is on her mind, cause it's on mine too. And I don't mean anything dirty. Three words, not I love you, or I miss you. Something more simple.

_She's mine, forever. _

Well that and; _hot sex, tonight. _

Like I said, I'm still the same old Ashley Davies.

--

**Really, really, didn't like the ending. Then again, I don't like ending things. What did you think? It's not been checked by the way, so sorry for errors.**


End file.
